I hear it a lot and I know it's meant to be an excuse, but lately it's been sounding more and more like an accusation. Here's a sample conversation:
She said: Oooh! Your hair is so pretty. What do you use?
I said: Well I co-wash with TRESemme Naturals Conditioner, seal with grapeseed oil and use Shea Moisture Smoothie to style.
She said: Then what? How do you style it?
I said: After I co-wash and seal I divide my hair into sections, detangle and two-strand twist each section. In the morning when it's dry I un-twist, separate and fluff.
She said: (looking at me doubtfully) Is it hard to do?
I said: No, not really. It just takes practice.
She said: It would be impossible for me. You got that good hair though.
What the flip?!
So I used to get into the whole "there's no such thing as good/bad hair, all hair that's cared for is good, we all need to accept and love our hair the way it is" argument. I gave that up, because to be honest, it's a moot point in this conversation. I know what
she means by "good hair". And
she knows that I know what
she means by "good hair." And I know that
she knows that I know... and on and on and on....
Nowadays my answer to this excuse/accusation is, "No, I don't."
It's amazing! Once upon a time I'd have been flattered beyond belief if someone said that to me. Now I get upset.
I don't like the implication that:
1. I've told
her something that isn't true (It's not hard, it just takes practice.)
2. That any work I've put into my hair is insignificant because my hair doesn't take work.
3. That
she knows someone's hair struggles/victories/story just because
she thinks
she knows their hair texture.
But mostly I don't like that defeatist attitude that
she has been conquered (or expects to be conquered) by
her hair and therefore has given up before even starting. I shouldn't have to prove my nappy status just so
she starts believing in the possibilities of what
her hair could do and be.
